Dispatches

So, where were we? Oh yeah, in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, drinking beer with the Yoopers. I crossed into Canada the next day and made my way across Ontario, which is way bigger and has more bears than I realized. (Roadside signs [...]

So where were? Oh yeah, Kansas City, where it was still too damned hot and I was taking unwarranted potshots at St. Louis. I don’t know why. I really like St. Louis, even though it is the only place where I’ve ever [...]

So where were? Oh yeah, Dallas, where the weather was too hot and my blood pressure was too high. I have solved both of these problems. Through the wonders of modern pharmaceuticals I now have the blood pressure and cholesterol numbers of [...]

So where were we? Oh yeah, in Pensacola, Florida, accidentally turning in the “Bernie” story three weeks before it was due. I was kind of sad to end my semi-residency at the Days Inn out by Interstate 10. The pool had a [...]

So, where were we? Oh yeah, sipping tequila in Key West at midnight on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was about to spend the next three months floating around Florida alternating between being sick and [...]

At last, the exciting true adventure of Aunt Marge in the freezer and me locked up in her house. Enjoy

So where were we? Oh yeah, leaving an old woman to die in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. I don’t feel good about that, but, hey, I had bigger problems to deal with. The Traipsemobile sewer tank had sprung a leak, leaving [...]

So, where were we? Oh yeah, Chicago, being perused by the Secret Service. I had chores to do after that – the emptying of sewer tanks, the repair of various battery accessories in the Traipsemobile, the drinking of even more beer. There [...]

So, where were we? Oh yeah, sucking those puppies down in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. I  spent the night alongside the Mississippi River and then took the back roads east and south across Wisconsin, through Madison and Whitewater and, eventually down U.S. [...]

So where were we? Oh yeah, taking a right at Saskatchewan and heading into North Dakota. I’d only been there twice before, once on The Empire Builder train, heading for Seattle, and once when I was living in Minneapolis, working for the [...]

So where were we? Oh yeah, spending the night by the Alaska pipeline, 120 miles south of Deadhorse. Which isn’t a real town, actually, in the sense that it did not exist before the North Slope oil discoveries in the 1970’s and [...]